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FLAMINGO? HELL NO!

Barely recovering from last year’s unicorn and swan hysteria, I already have to face another summer trend that has invaded every single shop and household.

If I find the pink bird fascinating in real life, I have difficulty appreciating the derivative products. And that’s because they’re everywhere! It’s like the hit-song “Despacito”. The entire planet has overdosed on it, but continues to play it on repeat!

The trendy bird has become the new spirit animal, the cool totem, the beach party must-have. Have we forgotten that the Queen of Hearts and Alice use them as croquet mallets in Alice in Wonderland? Not quite the hip character back then. 

Today, on top of being pool floats, drink holders and slippers, flamingos can also be a drink! Yes, apparently if you mix up vanilla ice-cream, grenadine and Baileys, you’ve got yourself a “flamingo cocktail”.

But let’s go back to the popular pool accessory. Am I the only one finding it disturbing to sit on a bird that has its oblong (not to say phallic) head right in the middle of our legs. I’d personally ride it aside rather than astride. As 19th century as it may sound, I choose to look Victorian as opposed to modern.

I miss the good old inner tube ring float. Hashtag nostalgia.

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